Listening Clearly & Loving Well

The Family Life Department is hosting a series of marriage seminars with guest presenters Cesar and Carolann De Leon, Family Life Directors for the North American Division. These veteran marriage practitioners are sharing research-based principles and personal experiences to help couples build healthy, lasting relationships. Attendees were encouraged not just to say “I love you,” but to reflect on whether they are truly loving well.

In the U.S., the average marriage lasts only about six years. Many relationship struggles stem from unhealthy patterns learned early in life, and these strained dynamics can take a toll on physical health. Emotional stress—especially from toxic relationships—leads to chronic physical strain. As the De Leons warned, a toxic relationship can slowly destroy your well-being.

Signs of toxicity include feeling drained after interactions, recurring negative thoughts about the relationship, imbalance in giving and receiving, and feeling undervalued or disrespected. Both partners can contribute to this dynamic, often bringing both strengths and unresolved issues into the relationship.

Everyone carries emotional baggage. The key is understanding what’s in yours. Past experiences, emotional frameworks, and unhealed wounds all impact how we show up in marriage.

On the other hand, nurturing relationships support healthy living. From birth, we are wired for connection. Learning how to build and cherish those connections can enrich and transform our lives.

According to the De Leons, two key principles can set a marriage on the right path:

First, listen and learn your spouse’s emotional story. Understanding their unique history helps you love them more intentionally. Second, create space for honest expression. Be a safe haven where your spouse feels supported, affirmed, and comforted.

To hear the rest of the principles, join Family Life Ministries at Lambuth Inn, daily at 9:30 a.m.

—Christopher C. Thompson